Coldplay and, of course, Joe Satriani

Coldplay aren't really my thing. They write soap opera love songs and always sound about three seconds away from crying.

Not really my kind of music.

But "Viva la Vida" was kind of catchy, right? The title track, I mean. There's no way in hell I'd ever listen to the entire album.

Anyway, it was a popular song. Really, it didn't sound anything like the rest of their music. And I don't mind it that much. If it happens to be on the radio when I'm in control of the dial, I'll leave it on for half the song or so. I mean, any more than that would be pushing it.

But I can at least give it two minutes of my time.

Cue Joe Satriani. The man is not a happy camper.

I mean, picture the scene for a minute: Satch has just returned from the record store with the new Coldplay album, and damnit, he is PUMPED. He's just got to get his fix. He puts the disc in his stereo and hits play. Wait for it. You can see his lips begin to twitch. Beads of sweat glisten on his bald pate.

Those motherfuckers. They stole my fucking song!

Hold on a minute.

If I'm going to believe this sort of thing, I need some proof. Real proof. None of that "this sounds sort of like my song in spirit, therefore you must've ripped me off" nonsense. That's not going to fly with me. Remember, I write a bit of music myself. Show me the proof.

Oh. Well, what do you know. That's kind of interesting. (If you're impatient, skip to 0:50)

But wait a minute - the guy who made that video cheated! He altered the pitch and meter of the two songs to bring them into alignment. You know, like this. And even then, the two melody lines aren't exactly alike. Actually, they only really match on about half the notes. Remember, this is Joe Satriani we're talking about. The man does things with his guitar that Chris Martin is (thankfully) unable to do with his voice.

Is it really worth a lawsuit?

For Joe, absolutely. Regardless of whether this mess ever makes it to court, the publicity will be (and has been) huge. People who have never even heard of Joe Satriani are thinking "who the hell is this guy?" So they'll watch a few videos of him on YouTube. And you know what? Some of them will get hooked. They'll go on to buy his music.

And of course, Coldplay gets more exposure too. Only they don't need it.

But did they even steal the song to begin with?

Probably not. Joe's chord progression (which only occurs during the chorus of "If I Could Fly") is certainly not unique, regardless of what some might say.

There is that little matter of the melody, though. I've got to admit, it is pretty similar. But was that intentional? I highly doubt it.

The human brain is obscenely complicated. Chances are, Chris Martin was walking down the street and happened to hear a few notes of Joe's lick playing on someone's stereo. He didn't even realize he'd heard anything at all. But later on, when he was working on the vocals for "Viva la Vida," they came to mind, and he used them as as starting point for his own melody. Or maybe not. I mean, the man is a singer. He knows which notes work well together and which ones don't. There's a chance this whole thing was a freak coincidence.

Of course, now that blood is in the water, everyone is getting in on the action.

Even Creaky Boards knows their claim is bullshit. But that doesn't matter. They'll get a little publicity, maybe sell a few albums, and people will eventually forget about it all. And Cat Stevens really should know better. Just because the first two notes of the melody match yours does not mean the entire thing was lifted from you. I mean, come on now. There are these things called "scales." Have you heard of them?

I enjoy Joe Satriani's music more than I do Coldplay's. But I still don't know that I'd call this theft outright. More like unintentional plagerism.

But it will certainly be interesting to see what comes of all this.

...now go listen to some Satriani.